In search of presence

What does it mean to be present nowadays? I’m with my son in the apartment, struggling to be present and listen to him read a story. I’m physically present but not really there.

At the same time, I have to be present as a student, thinking about and evaluating what the research question should be. Does it make sense to follow this path, or does it lead to a dead end? The parents’ Viber group from school also needs attention—what should we prepare for the carnival party? And a notification for the medical exam appointment in the next hour has popped up; I need to be ready to leave.

Online chatting with friends and family is also a daily joy and a task if considered in that context. I also have to manage to go out and run; I’m preparing for a half marathon, so there’s a training plan to stick to. I’ve left my job aside since I wanted to refer only to free time, but you get the idea.

I’m glad I don’t do just one or two things a day. Or at least, I’ve evolved to enjoy the feeling that I’m on top of all these things, even if it’s challenging sometimes. It could be different, but I’ve forgotten what that would be like. Does it matter?

How many times in the middle of a discussion do my eyes get stuck on the screen—either phone or laptop (fortunately, I don’t use tablets or smartwatches)? I’m indecisive about where I should be present in this inseparable physical-augmented-by-digital space. Everything is “real.” Once, a friend who had a life straight out of a novel told a stranger, rather arrogantly but nonetheless truthfully, “One day of my life is ten years of yours.” Through the expansion of the digital (and social networks, of course), we’ve managed to expand time and space for all. But busy is different from full.